The perfect analogy for Star Wars Specials

First of all, I don’t really care if Disney bought Star Wars. It’s been on it’s downfall ever since the 1997 special edition re-launch if you ask me.

But I just realized, this is the perfect analogy for what George Lucas has tried to do with the original Star Wars movies.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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Hotline Miami

Hotline Miami|| Genre: Murder spree || Dev: Dennaton Games || PC

Things are starting to get weird. There’s a strung out hooker on my couch. Piles of empty pizza boxes and newspaper cutouts lay scattered throughout the apartment.  My mind is a falling elevator.

Hotline Miami Review Game

Hotline Miami is a top-down shooter set in 1989 about a man’s descent into madness. It has a very slick style to it that feels like a combination of Dobermann, 2-CB and Super Nintendo.

Every stage is a new day, and every new day contains a message on your answering machine telling you to go places and waste a bunch of guys. I immediately got some Ichi The Killer vibes from the whole thing, where Ichi is tricked into killing “Bullies” in a much similar way. At first glance the game might seem similar to other titles in the genre, but Hotline Miami differs at many points.

First of all there’s no health bar. If you get shot, stabbed, smacked with a tire iron – you will die. This in combination with very solid controls makes for a well balanced mix of planning and high-speed slaughter. If that wasn’t enough the game offers stellar blood pumping beats to keep you going with your murder spree.

Hotline Miami Review Game

All in all – I highly recommend this game.

I give it 5 brain-splattered animal masks, out of 5 for fucks sake.

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Good old Grand Theft Auto

I used to watch this Grand Theft Auto short film all the time way back when GTA 2 was hot.


It’s pretty sweet.

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Thieves – Cyberpunk Short

Watch this, you’ll like it!

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Hello Mars

Congratulations Nasa for a badass landing on Mars.

Seriously, that landing had to be a fucking nightmare.

There’s a simulation over at the Nasa website where you can see the whole thing. It’s completely insane.

Let’s see if they find any triple-tits midgets and reactors up there.

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Gaming photography

Since I assembled my new computer I’ve been playing a lot of games, a whole pile actually. During this I’ve taken a lot of screenshots from every game. Here are some of the best ones:Skyrim

Skyrim Cinematic Mod
Skyrim Cinematic Mod
Skyrim Cinematic Mod

Max Payne 3


Grand Theft Auto IV
I set Fraps to take a screenshot every 30 seconds in GTAIV,
Here are some of the best timed ones. 



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Why me building a computer makes your summer better.

Some time ago I used to live a little bit off from the city. Which meant I had to drive to get into town, whenever I wore sunglasses or even brought my sunglasses with me – There would be rain when I arrived. No matter how nice and cloud-free the skies were while I left.

This spring I decided to invest in a new pair of rather nice and pricey sunglasses during the first real spring heat. When I bought them I told the woman in the store to expect snow and misery to be around the corner any second. She tried to convince me that I was just being a pessimistic paranoid for expecting this to happen. Two days later it started snowing and didn’t really get better until many weeks later.

Fast forward to now, the weather has been complete shit once again with the apparently coldest June since several decades. I mean I’m fine with that as long as I have something else to do – like playing games and working on my comic book on my computer.

Except my computer died at the exact same moment the weather decided to be rainy and shitty.

So now I’m doing everyone a massive fucking favor by building myself a high-end computer during my vacation. Why would this help you? Because the second I assemble this great beast of escapism the weather will turn to be so unbearably hot and nice that there is no way to enjoy sitting in front of a computer. Which means that everyone else can go about their vacation while I sit inside with no money left in front of a big great oven.

Update:
Headlines when my computer died “Coldest June since decades”

Now when I ordered the parts “Summer heat is finally here”

Here we go..

Be grateful.

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Street Of Fury

Street of fury is an action movie about street gangs in Hong Kong during the 90’s.

Things get out of hand quickly when street fighting brothers Hu and Long gets bullied by the Dong Xing gang and their leader Short Sighted. In order to fight back they seek an alliance with the rival gang Hung Hing and their mental case leader King who reminds me of Tak Fuji from the Konami trainwreck conference of 2010.

Their usual way of getting revenge is to run up to and “chop up”  the rival gang-members with machetes on open streets. One might think that a scene like this would be very brutal and bloody, but it isn’t at all. There’s no blood spraying and no wounds at all actually, they just hit each other with their machetes like sticks and then they fall down.

       

       

It’s a pretty chilled movie that works well if the hours are late and your vision is blurred. It has a lot of comedy moments, some intentional, some in the crappy subtitles and some from the overly dramatic death scenes throughout the movie.

I give this movie 3 roundkicks out of 5.

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Summertime

So summer is here, my vacation starts next week and goes on until the beginning of August. As I’m writing this I’m looking out at the sun rising , knowing that today is my last day filled with real actual work. I have a meeting on Monday but the only requirements for success on that is that I’m sober and awake. If those requirements are met everyone involved should be happy campers and we can all go our separate ways of decadence during the summer.

But alas, today is a work day. Because of this I just brewed an enormous cup of coffee in order to prepare for today’s work, not having slept sure isn’t helping to focus because I’m clearly focusing on this wasteland of a blog rather than doing some actual work. It’s the perfect insult against establishment and it’s making my coffee taste wonderful.

Assuming all this goes well and I can finally go on my self-labelled needed vacation, the 5 people who actually read this can look forward to a heap of b-movie reviews and also shorter game reviews from my enormous steam-backlog.

Until then, tear down the walls of your cubicle, take off your suit and party like it’s 1972!

I’ve seen shit you wouldn’t believe man!


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Hacker Horror

Ghost In The Machine is a hacker-horror movie that spawned from the fear of the Internet in the 90’s.

Similar movies that come to mind are  Death Machine, The Net  and the X-Files episode “Blood” from Season 2.

The movie features Marion from Indiana Jones getting stalked by a dead serial killer turned ghost hacker who can assume control over absolutely anything and kill anyone. It’s actually really entertaining and executed well enough to be interesting.

During the second half of the movie there are some cheesy effects and a stupid virtual-reality scene. However there are some non-computer made gore effects that look pretty sweet, like the microwave scene. Fucking brilliant

       

I don’t really want to spoil anything, which is why I can’t write reviews. But the ending seems a bit rushed and stupid. But you can’t really demand logic in a movie like this. I do recommend to at least try and watch it. If you have to; watch it non-sober, whatever that means to you and you should be fine.

I give this movie 4 fried modems out of 5

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